Sometimes, I look into the mirror and wonder, who is inside there. A guy whom I barely know of.
The mask I have been wearing, finally, is worn out.
31st of August, the independence day of the Malaysia. Good luck.
In the silent hours between dreams and the rising sun, staying wide awake and staring aimlessly at the starless sky, wondering what is awaiting ahead. The carefree days were long gone, replaced by the stress and the responsibility for life. Am I doing the right thing; choosing the right path, I’ve no idea. But let the future unfold itself, and I shall just wait and see. Another beautiful night I have, even with the absence of the twinkling stars.
- de.Kal
I’ll soar high above like an eagle.
Please pick up your pace, I’ll wait. :)
My best pals, LOVE.
What is wrong with you. Why did you do that. You fucking knew that it wouldn’t do any good to you. Yet, you just stubbornly did it. You bastard. Believe it or not, history is going to repeat itself again. You fuck-tard. Fuck yourself.
It’s an awful feeling. For the very first time, I suffer from the exam-phobia. And I find no way to reduce the stress level in me. I need a psychiatrist seriously, or I’ll go crazy.
Thank you for coming into my life when I needed help so much. The very first day I feel it from you. Thank you. You’ve always been so good to me. :)
I just watched a movie/documentary called : The Cove, production by Louie Psihoyos with Richard O’Barry. It analysed and questioned the dolphins hunting culture in Japan and tried their best to stop it. In the movie, you could see how cruel were, or maybe still are, the Japanese whalers when it comes to hunting dolphins, and in a bigger picture, fishing. They have no mercy on this creature. They are indeed a monster. And throughout the movie, you can see how much the Japanese whalers not wish to be revealed their darkest side. On the other side, the activists and the team did really put in a lot of effort to capture pictures and record videos of the slaughter to create awareness, and to help the dolphins. Their spirits never die regardless how tough is it and how many obstacles laying ahead. Also in the movie, you can see how smart the dolphins are, and how much they can understand human and how human and dolphins interact without words. A gift from the God.
Dolphins (animals) are our friends. Please help them. Save them.
I also decided to go vegetarian. It’s tough and it takes time. But hopefully, bit by bit, I can cut down the amount I consume on meat-stuff. It really hits me when I realize how cruel can people do to the animals just to satisfy our unlimited desire. The bile from moonbears; the geese’s livers; the dolphin meat and other sea creatures’ meat; the mutton and the livestock that we enjoy so much, but on the pain of the animals.
“Hear from heaven and act. Judge between your servants, condemning the guilty and bringing down on his own head what he has done. Declare the innocent not guilty, and so establish his innocence.” 1 Kings 8:32
“Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.” Matthew 24:12-13
Save the dolphins.
How do you pick up the threads of an old life; How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand, there is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold.
No turning back.
The clock’s ticking.
In a blink of an eye, it’s already more than a month since the AS examination. And before we know it, the test is just around the corner and shortly followed by the trial and the A2 examination. Can you imagine that, time seriously flies. Everything happens in a fast pace and we barely have time to reflect on ourselves.
The clock’s ticking.
Very soon, the college life will come to an end. There, we either continue pursuing further education or take a short break – and the latter is more of my preferred option. The future is subjected to so much uncertainty. And we only can prepare the best of ourselves for the next challenge.
The clock’s still ticking.
I need a break.
It’s been a while I’ve neglected this blog, haven’t I? But tonight, all of a sudden, I feel like coming back here – coming back to a place that I am so comfortable with. A place that I’ll call it a home. And tonight, I’ll share something about myself.
Here we go.
Life’s been good to me undoubtedly. It’s given me every single opportunity that I possibly could have to better myself; to grow wiser and stronger. It always prepares me for a brighter future.
But, there is something which is so important to me is missing. And I’ve been spending days and nights searching for it. Searching for an unknown. Yes, you heard me right. An unknown. So hilarious indeed that even I laugh at myself : How the hell are you gonna search for an unknown, huh? But so true indeed that I am absolutely clueless about what am I actually seeking for.
‘What’s life?’ Easy to be understood but you choke on words when you try to answer it. ‘Life is an adventure’. So I answered when I was first asked. Looking it in depth, is it merely an adventure? What’s more? Now I know why would people spend his/her entire life searching for the truest meaning of life, because this is seriously no easy. At the moment, you thought you’ve found the right definition to life, but just a next second, it is not so. You grow and you know a little bit more than the you in the previous second. Hence, the definition is no longer suit you best. So, can I say: Life is Be here now? No, to some extent, it’s not. ‘Be here now’ merely means that you are supposed to be exactly where you are in that particular moment, and concentrate on whatever you’re doing. You know, right here right now. Life is a very long journey. You’ll get tired, upset, hopeless, sorrow, etc sometimes where all the negative thoughts kick in. Thus, you need to set some targets and goals for yourself to work on. That’s when you dream about your future. And you dream, it’s beyond ‘be here now’. You create an image in your mind that yet to exist. You let your train of thought go free. Here the conflict between be here now and dreams comes in. What about if I say: Life is Be here now and also an adventurous journey. Sounds logic. You give your best on what you are doing, and at the same time, you dream about what you want to do in the future. So, this is my definition to life at this moment.
Everyone has a life. Of course dude, duh. I mean, we all have a life, and there are about 7 billions of people living on the globe, so there are about 7 billions of lives (to make it easy, I exclude the animals’ and plants’) carrying out their own business on a daily basis. 7 billions is a huge number and how do they coordinate themselves. How do things work out so smoothly, like it has been planned. What’s more, interaction between one and another. Who is to make sure that one will go to a certain place to meet up with another; And you understand multiplier effect : the consequences that bring on and on to other people by a single decision of yours. Who is to make sure this is to happen and it won’t stop in the middle of somewhere because one forgets to react on the particular action by another. You can call it God, or you think it’s you. You are in charge of your life or destiny sometimes we call it. Or you believe that someone has written our stories like how we write a book, let it be a fairy tale, or science fiction, or non-fiction. Someone has just written a book, and we are merely an actor. We act according to the script. Everything happens in our life is destined; is known, somehow. You believe that? No? Then what?
Why are we here on Earth? To learn. On the one hand, if we’re the master of our own life, then why do we say that we are here on earth is to learn something else. Who decides what subject should we take and learn? Who has the right to say that we should take up a particular subject but not the other? But on the other hand, if we’re merely an actor, why do we still need to learn? Everything has been set so rigidly. Or we’re in between? Our stories have been written but in a few versions and are kept in somewhere else safely. Everyday, we’re given options to choose and from there, we learn how to make the best choice out of it. Slowly, we’re trained to control of our own life or even to write our own story. We learn tree diagrams. It branches out and leads everywhere. Some people just follow what has been written in that book and some try to take control of their lives. But again, are those who take charge of their lives being set to take charge of themselves?
Perhaps someday later I’ll come back and have answers to these questions.
Is knowing the answer to these questions important to me? or is it just a small part of it. And hey, is it even important to me to answer the that question? Oh no, another question comes up.
Deep inside my heart, I know someday, I’ll have an answer for the unknown.
P/S: Forgive me if my post doesn’t make any sense to you. That’s just what’s inside my mind. You know, sometimes, people just can’t think straight.
Life’s been beautiful, as always; I am still working hard on what I am trying to achieve; Still, Life is beautiful.
If you’re reading this, congratulation, you’re still alive.If that’s not something you should smile about, I don’t know what then.
Hello, people. Enjoy a bit. You’ve just survived from the doomsday.
H.A.P.P.Y B.I.R.T.H.D.A.Y :)
Enjoy life ♥
You’re better than what you think you are, awesome kid :D
The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all. It is so true indeed. We of all have to go through a series of tasks laid down before the goal’s achieved.
